Bellicose Crock Pots Indigenous to my Ugly Lawn

I had planned on getting the lawn cut today, but I decided that using my power mower would melt the polar ice caps and turn my yard into a lake.

" Logic seemed to dictate that an ugly yard is the better choice "

Of course, my neighbors keep on belly-aching, but I don't really like any of them anyway. I hit golf balls at their roofs on occasion ... after dark with my night vision goggles on. I love night vision goggles!

I brought this bush inside because it seemed to go well with my pants. What do you think? I plan on wearing this bad boy all over town. Velcro fasteners make placement and adjustments quite simple.

Whoaaa! The doorbell is ringing now .... who the *$%#@!! would be knocking this early? Must be one of those damn kids trying to sell me candy again. 5 dollars for something to make my belly thicker?!?? {Cripes!}


Well, what a nice surprise! It's "Gertal Gertle" ... strange name I know, but she is the greatest crock pot cooker of all times. She is here because of the Romantic Dinner with Myself posts that I had published last week. With 225 comments, I was not really alone.
Hooo wee!!!! Look at her go. She just climbs into the kitchen and gets busy. Today we are making chicken stew (ok, I'm just watching) She is very bellicose - I must say.
I think I might be falling in love??? She is very charming, and smells like gravy. I love me a woman that smells like gravy. Perfume makes me sneeze.


Just as it was time to serve up Gertal's masterpiece .... SHE TURNED INTO A MONKEY. No, I am still clean and sober, and am not having hallucinations. Here is a photo to prove it.
I said, "Is that really you in there??" .... she nodded yes, and said she wanted to watch the debate between McCain and Obama. We agreed that Obama is a good speaker, but that's about it. McCain looked 20 years younger, and had a lot of make up on.

ps ... this is my 1000th post here on the Speedcat Hollydale Page. There are well over 200 on my other blogs, and more than 50 on multi-author blogs that have invited me over to participate. Thank you everyone for all the comments during the past few years, and for making this blog so much fun.